investigation, trying to find answers to the biggest question, why. and a blogger writes a piece that was entitled i'm adam lanza'smotor. she ignited a fire storm. that mom answers critics tonight. let's go "outfront." good evening, everyone. i'm erin burnett, "outfront" tonight, honoring the dead. the grieving community of newtown, connecticut, began the burials today. just a moment ago, we were approached by a representative for madeleine huh shoe. her family wanted us to know -- i'm going to quote the words they said with all of you, sweet, unique, bright, sparkling, determined little girl. she was an avid reader who loved

running and dancing. she was a born leader. this is the start of what will be a painful week as friends and family try to prepare to try to say good-bye to the 20 children and six educators who were killed on friday in the second worst school shooting in american history. as newtown mourns, investigators are still trying to figure out what motivated adam lanza to go on a shooting spree, to kill children, and also take the life of his own mother. we're going to have more on the investigation in a moment. but the truth is, we may never know why adam lanza chose to go on a mass killing spree. we may never know why he chose to go in a school and kill innocent 6 and 7-year-olds, but we're learn aglot more tonight about his mother nancy and the relationship she had with her troubled son. according to friends, the 52-year-old divorced mother of two was devoted to her children and was especially close with adam who friends say was very intelligent but socially awkward. a retired stock broker from new hampshire, she was a lifelong

red sox fan with season tickets who lived with her son adam in a large colonial home not far from the center of home. friends say she was a contradiction. extremely generous and friendly, but extremely private when it came to her family life. they said she did talk about the challenges of raising a son with asperger's syndrome, and during an interview with cnn, nancy's friends said she might soon be moving there. >> she was talking about washington state, and she was ready to change her whole life, sell her house and start over just for him, just so he could go to school and -- i mean, he was -- he was her life. >> friends say nancy lanza was a gun enthusiast and had taken up target shooting as a hobby when she introduced to her son adam, but they insist she was always

responsible with guns. >> they painted her as some irresponsible gun freak, but she wasn't. she was -- she was the epitome of responsibility. she was a paragon for gun safety. she taught the boys how to use the guns responsibly. >> little did she know that the son she doted on and taught how to use guns would turn those guns on her and children. authorities believe that adam lanza shot and killed her mother as she was lying in bed before taking her guns, two of her handguns and an assault rifle, to sandy hook elementary school. i sat down with some of nancy's friends at one of her favorite places in newtown, a place she went to two to three times a week, and i asked them about who was nancy lanlza. >> about 12 years ago, 12, 13 years ago. yeah, met her in the bar. she come in here and had take-out food. we got to know each other. with mark, you know, we used to

talk in the bar. you know, just like clicked. that was it. you know, we started talking. we became good friends. >> got to know her? >> yeah. yeah, like i said, she started coming to the take-out area, picking up food. she got to know our family pretty well. and she was very friendly, outgoing. she was funny. we took to her. yeah, she became fast friends with us. you know. she did a lot in town. was always on the go. >> how often did she come in here? sounds like you know her well. was this kind of her regular place? >> yeah. two to three times a week. >> two to three times a week? >> for food, especially. the bar, not so often. you know. >> when she had tickets for us to the ball games. we used to go to the boston games. >> she had tickets to the red sox, so she would invite us or give us the tickets. >> when was the last time she

came in? >> i saw her last week or two weeks ago tops. she came in and i was talking to her for a little bit. as far as this, she came to pick up food more than anything else during the week. >> you didn't meet the boys, right? >> right. >> you knew one of them? >> both of them. ryan worked for me for a year and a half when he was in high school. he was a busker. adam was never a social person. he used to come in and keep his head down. he was never sure of himself. >> you knew there was something -- >> she had told us that, you know, he had a -- a condition there, asperger's where he was, you know, always had an issue in school socially with that. he was a highly intelligent kid, very high iq. graduated around tenth grade or so. >> so graduated from high school early? >> yeah, i think so. like tenth grade.

yeah, very, very intelligent kid. and i mentioned earlier, too, a lot of people are mentioning asperger's. and i would like to say something about that. i think that a lot of kids have it, and i don't think it has anything to do with the situation at all because kids with that know the difference between right and wrong. >> she talked -- nancy talked over the years about her sons? >> when she came in here, we socialized and went out. we never talked about the family. it was her -- she just came in to have a great time, to talk. >> get it off her mind, if anything. she did, but she would only say he was -- you know, it's been hard for her, you know. it was really hard for her, bringing him up. and she was always -- >> talked about it. >> she was always on it. yeah, just saying, yeah, never really -- didn't have to come in and talk about it. she didn't want to talk about it. she would mention it's been difficult. you know, i did so much for him

to try to get him help here or there or doing different things. >> one of the things we heard a lot about her is she was passionate about guns. she collected guns. is that something that you knew about or were surprised when you hear? >> i would say in the last three years or so, she picked up that hobby. i don't know who got her into it, but she really enjoyed it. target shooting. so i didn't know. i had no idea -- yeah. >> not collecting guns? >> she was a target shooter. she probably had some guns she used to take to the range and practice with. where don't know what she owned or what she said. she said she enjoyed it, and that was it. we don't know if she sons, didn't take her sons. she didn't talk about it much. i took it up, it was fun, that kind of thing. >> given you knew her as a person, do you think she was a person who would have the guns around the house? would they have been locked up? >> they would have been locked up. >> far too bright for that.

very smart. she was really fun. she understood. >> what do you think some of the biggest misconceptions are that you have heard on the news? >> i think mostly the, you know, well, between the condition that he had, which people get confused for being the reason, and the guns. you know, we don't think that has anything to do with her character. >> she donated her time for all charitable work, helping people who needed help. helping aids people, donating money for aids and charity. that's what she did. she didn't -- she didn't get paid for doing what she did. she did all charitable work on her own. >> very generous? >> very generous. very generous. a person could be sitting here and say, you're talking to her, and they happen to be saying, you know, i don't shave money fr this or have money for that. she would dig out her checkbook and write a check and give it to the person without knowing them. that's the kind of person she was.

>> all right, i want to bring in susan candiotti. she has the latest on the investigation. i know we were hearing the friends of nancy lanza talking about how she picked up the gun hobby over the past three years. they were very adamant she wouldn't have been the kind of person to have let her guns loose. she would have locked them up. what are you learning about target shooting, nancy lanza, and adam? >> that's one of the things investigators have to look at. what were both of them doing in the months leading up to this? in particular, her son, the suspected shooter in the case? they're finding out more about that. they're learning in fact both mother and son had been to target practice, did go to gun ranges several times over the past several years. they don't know exactly how often yet, but most recently for adam, anyway, in the last six years and over the course of several years. the reason they don't know the big picture, the full picture is atf is still canvassing all of the gun ranges in the area, and

there are a ton of them, to get more information about this. they're still following a lot of leads, and they're also looking at computers, computer said they have discovered in the home. a couple of them, we learned from our law enforcement officials, is that they were smashed. smashed to smith arenes. >> he tried to destroy the evidence? >> that appears to be the case, the apparent indication. they have had to pick up the pieces, literally, pull things together, try to examine the hard drive. what would they be looking for? obviously, checking to see if he sent e-mails to anyone, what websites did he visit? was he in chat rooms, message boards? give any indication to a possible motive in all this? who did he communicate with, if anyone? those are the kinds of things they're looking at. and remember, they are also doing a complete history of all of the weapons that were used in this terrible tragedy. we've got the one made by bushmaster, which was that

assault-type rifle, and we know he came, according to officials, with a ton of ammunition. he was armed to the hilt when he went to that school. multiple magazines for all three weapons. >> hundreds of bullets that were not used. >> that's right. extra bullets on top of that. 30-round magazines. a lot to go over. they're going to be looking at all of that. we were also there yesterday when we saw his car being towed away. they're going to be going over that vehicle from top to bottom, inside the trunk, you'll remember, was an extra rifle. >> i know we don't yet know about motive, and when they get this information, they'll try to get more and more information, but what do we know about him playing violent video games? >> we don't know much about that yet. that's one thing, of course, they'll be looking for. what indication of games do downloaded to the computer. today i spoke with a friends of his -- i guess you would call a friend of his, who went to high school with him. he said in their tech classes,

they would play a couple games called star craft and war craft, which involved shooting up enemies and this kind of thing. >> killing and awful things. thank you, susan. we appreciate it. susan with the latest on the investigation and what we know and at this point what we don't know. >> "outfront" next, the woman who wrote the blog, i am adam lanza's mother, calling attention to raising a child with a serious mental illness. what she got was a firestorm. she responds to the controversy and criticism next. >> later, the principal hero remembered by the people who knew her. [ male announcer ] you are a business pro. omnipotent of opportunity. you know how to mix business... with business. and you...rent from national.

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me and then himself after i asked him to return his overdue library books. now this blog was -- it was very raw and emotional and it raised questions about parenting a child with mental illness, and there were a lot of critics. people wondering why liza long would choose to be so public about her son michael. i spoke to her and asked her why she wrote the blog. >> this blog was a really personal and visceral response to this absolutely tragic shooting that occurred in connecticut on friday. and when i heard about the shootings, i closed my office door and just started to shake. and later that evening as i sat down, i confronted a lot of my own fears and thought process that i had been going through just during the course of that week. and that blog post was a result of that really hard look at my own life and my own circumstances. >> and liza, you write about -- i mean, i'm going to use your

words. i know this is hard to say. you write about your child threatening you with a knife, which is normal behavior for him? >> that's the scary thing, erin. the extent to which we had normal life, that behavior, what i try to describe michael to people, anyone who knows him knows that 97% of the time, he's just the sweetest, brightest, kindest, most articulate child. but sometimes for no apparent reason, he will turn into this absolute raging -- i don't know how to describe it. you would have to see it to believe it. i stopped and said to myself, this isn't normal. i have to face up to the fact that i have a sick son, and we need help. and erin, that's really what the blog post was about. it was about -- it was a cry for help. in a situation where i was feeling very helpless. >> and do you know what he has?

what causes him to do this? has it ever been diagnosed? >> we have had a variety of diagnoses. we have looked at oppositional societal disorder, intermittent disorders. he's been looked at for autism spectrism disorder and finally also adhd. >> so you're not even sure. i know to give the viewers some background here, you and your husband, he has actually been into juvenile detention four times and he's now at what you call an acute in-patient facility, a mental health facility, and you took him there after the night of the incident. when you write about the moment, i'll read it, michael was in a full-blown fit, screaming and hitting. i hugged him close so he couldn't escape from the car. he bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows in my rib cage.

i'm still stronger than he is, but i won't be for much longer. how long will he be in the mental health institution and what will you do when he comes home? >> erin, that's the reason i wrote the blog. people have had a hard time understanding this, but where we live, i don't know how it is where you live, but where we live, mental health treatment is pretty short-term, so this facility for young adults, 10 to 14 days maybe at the most. maybe even less. and after that, there just really aren't a lot of options for continued residential treatment here. that's the biggest challenge i'm facing, the advice i got was that i needed to press charges so that we could create a paper trail again. and he did get excellent follow-through care when he had to do juvenile detention as a younger boy. but i just don't feel like jail is the right place for my son. and i'm just really hoping that we can find another solution for

him. >> you have been criticized, of course, for writing this blog. i know you're well aware of that. you wrote it under your own name so people could figure out who your son is. michael isn't his real name, but anyone who knew you could figure it out. you have been criticized for doing that, maybe if he does grow up and is able to become a functioning member of society, this would dog him for the rest of his life. your words would be there. what do you say to that? >> those kinds of criticisms are going to come up any time there's a situation like this. first and foremost, and i realize this sounds hopelessly naive, i did believe my blog was anonymo anonymous. if you look at it, my name wasn't in there. my link was in the blue review and that was linked to my blog. you know, honestly, as you probably know, there's a great woman named sarah out there who has a wonderful blog, shaez e'sy

articulate and passionate and concerned about children's privacy issues. i think her concerns are legitimate. her concerns about children's privacy issues are legitimate. high son does know about the piece. his take on it was, mom, if we can help people understand, this is a good thing. >> liza, let me ask you because you mentioned sarah. and that's who you're referring to. she's another mom who was incredibly critical of you. you have talked and you put out a joint statement saying look, america, let's have a conversation about mental health issues. when she posted online, you wrote things about your son's behavior. i'll quote you again, it makes me want to throttle you, i quit, let the state take care of you. you wrote, my daydreams all involved my own death? are those emotions you feel as a mother and people don't say, were you exaggerating? tell me how that happened?

>> first of all, i have to admit that you guys have scrutinized my blog a whole lot more than i thought it would be scrutinized. i don't think anyone in america thinks anyone reads their blogs. yeah, i think one of the ha hallmarks of my writing and one of the reasons the last piece connected with so many people is that i do have a tendency to kind of say what's on my mind. you know, i wrote those words, and those are my words. i'm not disowning them, but you're looking at a four-year -- that's a four-year slice of history. >> let me ask you a question. do you own a gun? >> heavens no. no, no, no. no. >> okay. because obviously, you're writing about mental health. some people have said, look, you have fair points, liza, but don't let this obscure the national debate we need to have about gun control and what we need to do. >> oh, my goodness, no. i heard that from more than one person. i think the question is it's something about it's easy to

talk about gun control but it's time to talk about mental health. if i can clarify, what i mean is easy is we can frame the gun control debate in terms of right and wrong. you know, it's right to have gun control. or it's wrong, as some people would say, to have gun control. that's a simple way to debate a question. i don't think you can say that mental health is right or wrong. >> yeah, all right. thank you very much, liza. i appreciate you taking the time and coming and talking about this. >> thank you, erin. i really appreciate you highlighting this important issue of mental health. i really feel like this is a conversation we need to have as a nation. we need to do something for our children and adults who struggle with behavioral and mental health issues. >> we certainly do. thanks. >> thank you. now, i asked liza why she had put a picture up of her son on her blog since she changed his name and wanted to protect his privacy. she was open. she said the picture of him was at age 7. he looks nothing like that now.

he's 13 years old. i want to bring in dr. sanjay gupta. host of sanjay gupta m.d. when you hear liza talk about her child and his struggles, she's taken a lot of criticism. what do you think? >> it was a good interview. you got the sense it was a little therapeutic for her, her writing. she writes this stuff. seeing her, mieeting her throug the interview, you can tell she's not the kind of mom who is going to do those things. she's frustrated. imagine the threshold to get your child treatment is they have to be imminent harm to themselves or other people. that's like saying you can only go to the hospital if you're already having a heart attack. that doesn't make sense. that's the problem when you talk about putting mental health on par with physical health. it's not right now. >> it was hard when you have to guard your chiarge your child with battery or assault to get

them care. you have done the numbers, 1 in 5 children have a mental health issue in this country. that's an amazing number. >> that is an amazing number, and the mental health resources aren't there. when you prescribe a medication or take someone off a medication, all the literature says you have to monitor a person. you know as well as i do, they get prescriptions and they don't get the follow-up. that's a real problem. it's something that comes up in a tragedy here. >> it seems that a lot of parents would be understandably in denial. my child doesn't have a problem, or they're going to grow out of it. nobody wants to be that -- be in that position. >> i think denial is a big part of this. you know, erin, i have been talking to a lot of people. what i'm hearing more than anything else is anguish over what is happening with their children. they would love to get treatment for their children, but it means giving them a criminal record or saying they are going to hurt

people. that's a tough choice to make. >> you can see the anguish. >> absolutely. >> thank you very much. up next, we'll bring you some of our other top stories from the day. we have more from newtown, connecticut, including the story of a man who found children on his front lawn, victims of a horrible crime the world at that moment knew nothing about. you can stay in and like something... or you can get out there and actually like something. the lexus december to remember sales event is on. this is the pursuit of perfection.

welcome back. tonight, we start the second half of our show with other key stories we're watching tonight. we begun with democrat daniel anewy, the senate's most senior older member died today. he represented hawaii and was the second longest serving member in the history. a world war ii veteran. he was hospitalized last week but eventually succumbed to respiratory complications. we're told his last word was aloha. >> fiscal cliff talks may be gaining some momentum. president obama met with house speaker john boehner after boehner indicated he was willing to make new concessions. it was a face-to-face meeting, their third in eight days. a dpeeal could help the country get our aaa rating back. elsewhere in politics, a big decision in south carolina. governor nikki haley has

represented kim scott to replace outgoing senator jim demint. scott will be the senate's only black member, but will only hold the position until the election in 2014. you mail recall that earlier this month, demint said he was resigning from the senate by january 1st to lead a conservative think tank where he said he could make a bigger difference than he does in the senate. >> and an independent review of how the american embassy handled the attack on the consulate. they will have a closed-door briefing on wednesday. they'll be briefed by the members who conducted the review. well, earlier today, newtown began the unbearable task of saying good-bye to two of friday's youngest victims. as we were coming into newtown from a distance, we saw a graveyard and a funeral. and you choke up and tear up

just seeing that. it brings home just the magnitude of what has happened here. 6-year-olds jack pinto and noah pozner were both laid to rest. noah was a smart little boy. he loved reading and playing with his siblings calling his twin central asister, ariel, hi friend. jack pinto was a huge football fan who loved the new york giants. they have been covering jack's funeral, and she joins me now. i know he loved the giants. that was a real area of passion for that little boy. it must have been heartbreaking to be there today. >> certainly, because it just doesn't make sense. we have been watching what has been happening to this town, but then to see all of these people show up at this little boy's funeral, just a 6-year-old boy in the first grade. the people you normally see show up at a funeral, they're older. the people who came today,

children, 5-year-olds, 6-year-olds, 7-year-old children. they arrived wearing long sleeved shirts, sweatshirts that had newtown wrestling on it. the family had asked for privacy, so we tried to give them as much privacy as possible. you think about the global spotlight. they tried to have as much alone time as possible, but certainly there is a lot of interest in this little boy who loved sports so much. one child who showed up to mourn today, he was actually wearing a medal. and the medal is significant because i spoke to a member of a wrestling team in a nearby town, and this team says that jack had just won his first medal this last week. his very first match, he had won his first medal. but as you mentioned, his real love was football. he loved the new york giants. he loved victor cruz. and that message went all the way to cruz. he tweeted out this picture. he took a picture of his cleats

and his gloves. they had the name jack pinto on it. he said, this game is for you. and after last night's game, here's what cruz told reporters. >> it was emotional, man. you know, i was holding back tears to do it. it felt good. it felt good to honor a family going through so much. just the thought of your little one or your child, your son or daughter going through something like that, it was -- you know, it was unbelievable to even listen to on the news. so i put my daughter into bed with me that night. >> the family reportedly was so moved and knew how much their little boy loved cruz that they buried him in a victor cruz jersey. this, erin, just the very first of what will be many more days of funerals of these little children. >> thank you. "outfront" next, more heroes from that day. one man saw six small children

on his front lawn. refugees of horror. he didn't know why. >> and vicky soto, a woman who gave everything for her children, including her life. ♪ [ male announcer ] robitussin® liquid formula soothes your throat on contact including her life. robitussin®. don't suffer the coughequences™. ♪ first rule of taking the world by surprise? do something the world will actually notice. introducing the entirely new ford fusion. with a turbo-charged ecoboost engines and a hybrid that doubles the fuel economy of the average vehicle. it's an entirely new idea of what a car can be.

we're back in newtown with another story of love and heroism. literally down the road from sandy hook elementary school, so close that friday morning, before anyone knew the horror that had happened, he discovered six terrified children on his

front lawn. they told them their teacher had just been killed, and gene is out front with me tonight. gene, thank you. i know it's hard, and with all of the media here to come and talk about what happened. but when you saw the children on your yard, did you have any idea that something was wrong? >> i had no idea. i thought they were doing a skit or maybe they were cub scouts or girl scouts and they were just practicing because they were sitting so nicely. but then i saw a man in a very agitated way saying it's going to be all right. and he kept raising his voice. and i came to the children and they were crying and wailing and mortified. and there was a school bus driver with them, and i invited them into the house. and she said there had been an incident at the school. i had no idea what it was. >> and the children, how did they find the words to tell you? they told you, right? >> they told me.

they just started talking. the two boys mostly talked. and they said, we can't go back to that school. we can't -- >> we can't go back. >> our teacher -- our teacher is dead. what are we going to do? we don't have a teacher. and i was -- i could not take that in. i could not -- i could not accept that. and i just kept listening to them, and then they talked more. and the boy said, oh, no, it was a big gun and a small gun. then i knew. then they said there was blood. there was blood. and then they said her name. and i prayed that it wasn't that teacher, and it was. >> vicky soto. >> that very pretty 27-year-old teacher. i don't know how they fled. i think she must have protected them and saved their lives. i don't know if they ran all the

way down the boulevard, the street next to the fire house. i don't know how they got to my house. they were so brave. and they were so good. and i brought down some toys from my grandson's toy chest and i gave them some juice. and we called their parents. they were very brave and very good. and i was amazed. i was astounded at what they were telling me. >> they notice everything. i know you're a psychologist by training, but you talk about being a grandfather. that was the grandfather that was you at that moment? >> that's what trained me, being a grandfather. i felt like i was with my grandchildren. and i was happy with them. that's what trained me. my granddaughter and my grandson, and they were with me. i felt comfortable.

they were very sweet, and they calmed down a little, but they were so -- they kept repeating that they can't go back to the school because they don't have a teacher. >> and their grieving is going to be hard for adults to understand. it will be different, it may be more intense. it will be different. what message do you have for those children who came onto your yard? >> i want to be reunited with them. i want to see those children. and i want to tell them how good and brave and strong they are. i want to tell their parents that. and i want to tell them that i want to be their friend and i want to read to them. i want to give them something special for christmas. i want to be their friend. i want them to see me in light instead of darkness. as i saw them. i love their parents. i hope they'll call me because i want to see those children.

they were very good children. and then something happened with one of the boys, out of the grief and carnage, and he stopped and he became very composed. and all of a sudden, he stops and he looked at me and he said, just saying, your house is very small. and i thought -- i thought, what a bright, wonderful boy. and he just brought to all of us a respite, respite from all of this darkness. you know what, i want to see these kids. i hope their parents will call me. i want to just put my arms around them and tell them that i love them. i want the children to be the basis for our solution. that's what i want. >> i hope that they are, and i hope you'll be that when they remember that day, you'll be the beacon of light for them, too. thank you so much, gene.

>> i so appreciate you letting me tell my story. >> we appreciate you telling it. "outfront" next, has the world changed, and perhaps in a way for this country for the better? john avalon looks at how finally there might be a reasonable conversation in this country about guns. and the hero principal from the point of shview of the fries who knew her. to drive a jeep grand cherokee, tell them it's like being nestled in an eight-way, adjustable, heated and ventilated seat surrounded by a 500-watt sound system while floating on a suspension made of billowy clouds. or you could just hand them your keys. ♪ ♪ [ sniffs ] i took dayquil but my nose is still runny. [ male announcer ] truth is, dayquil doesn't treat that.

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in the aftermath of the newtown tragedy, there's growing demand for tighting control on guns. an abc/washington post poll found a big shift, the number of people who say they strongly support stricter gun control laws went up by five points while the number who strongly oppose went down five points. as i recall after the shooting in aurora, colorado, they didn't see such a big shift. after some mass shootings, you do. this time, it's a bigger move. the question is will it gain more momentum, and will washington do anything about it? john has been looking at it. lawmakers from both sides of the party, even staunch members, staunchly backed by the nra are united in their grief and say they want change to happen, but will it? >> erin, sometimes it takes tragedy to make us confront reality. you are starting to see

politicians on both sides of the aisle say maybe now is not the time to rely on ideology or partisan politics put to start taking a long look at the laws that exist around guns. not infringing on the second amendment, but taking a look at what reasonable restrictions can be put in place. in the last 24 hours, two leading southern democratic leaders, joel manchin and mark warner, said this event has changed them and they're open to new solutions. let's take a look at what m manchin told christine amanpour. >> who would think that children in america or anyone would be slaughtered? it changed me. i don't know of anyone who goes hunting with an assault rifle. i don't know people who need 10, 20, 30-round clips. >> i believe every american has a second amendment right and the ability to hunt is part of our culture. i had an nra rating of an "a,"

but you know, enough is enough. >> so, erin, that's the beginning of what may be a significant shift in evolution on this issue. just opening up this conversation again. as you know, the nation had an assault know, the nation had an assault weapons ban which expired in 2004. and that's one of the things that senators are talking about looking at. so the fact that these two senators with a ratings from the nra are saying they're open to this kind of a conversation is really significant. >> all right, john avlon, thank you very much. >> thank you. well, as the residents of newtown mourn the loss of friends and family, one of the things that helps keep them going is celebrating those who are brave amidst the chaos. sandy hook principal dawn hochsprung was one of them. our next guest has lived in this community for almost 20 years. all three of her children attended sandy hook elementary, and she became friends with many of the teacher there's, including dawn hock strung. miranda is here tonight to

remember. thank you so much. i know three children. one of your children has friends who have lost siblings? >> yes. >> let me ask you about dawn. you knew her well. you worked with her for a while. >> i didn't know her well. i worked with her because i was very active as mom in the school. yes, my youngest daughter, when she was there, dawn was there at the same time. yeah, dawn was an unusual principal. she didn't have that formality that a lot of, you know, administrators might have. she had this radiant smile. she was always about fun and warmth. and, you know, you kind of felt like you could just give her a hug as soon as you met her. she had a rare quality. >> how do you -- how do you feel, and how does this town feel, just being here? it is a picture-perfect little town. and it's small. and it feels like everybody here would know everybody else. >> yeah, well, we are all connected here. yeah. i felt a little bit conflicted tonight about coming out. i wanted to make sure that it was the right thing to do.

but i felt like coy have an opportunity to talk a little bit about the collective grief that we're feeling as a community. you know, we feel -- we feel numb. we're carrying our grief around with us. we have the thoughts of the parents who lost their children in our minds all the time. and it's hard. everything has stopped now. it's hard -- it's hard to get on with your routine. it's impossible, actually. i haven't been able to make coffee without forgetting what i'm doing halfway through. but, you know, i just want to get the message out to my friends and neighbors, especially the ones who are grieving the most, who have lost loved ones that we're in this together and that there is so much good in the world, and that we're going to hold on to it together. >> i know that you were telling a personal story just about how it's hard to sleep. >> yeah. >> but when you dozed off a little bit last night and woke up, you had to wake your husband

up just to see if it was real. >> i woke him up and i said to him is this really happening? and that's a line that has been running through my head. and i mentioned that to friends of mine, and they all could really relate to that. it's hard to believe it. it's hard to believe when president obama gave that beautiful speech last night and he listed the massacres that have happened in our country, the tragic events. and at the end of it came the name of our little town that no one else used to, you know -- i used to have to explain where it was. that was shocking. >> and you don't want it to be that way. and you don't want it to be columbine. >> exactly. i don't want people to associate the name of our town with this horrible tragedy. our town is so much more than that. it's a really special place where parents are so committed to their children's education and bringing them up well. and my kids have such wonderful memories of sandy hook. it's a huge part of their childhood. have i wonderful memories there and i want them to be able to

continue to have those memories and not think of it as the crime scene. >> this is a tough question to ask given my role, but the media, when i walk around here, i see a lot of people like me. we're trying cover this story, but i know that we're making it hard too in some ways for you. >> yeah. thank you for asking that, erin. you know, i came down a couple of days ago. i came down to the center of sandy hook here when the media was here. and i kept bumping into friends, and friends of friends, and we would hold each other and embrace each other and come together. and that feels vital right now. and when i came here tonight, i didn't see anybody i knew. and we really feel that the nation feels our pain and wants to reach out and wants to be here with us. and that means a great deal. on the other hand, it's hard to not be able to get -- to drive around your own town, when really what we need is to be together. >> miranda, thank you so much. >> thank you. >> we appreciate your taking the time to share with us.

>> thank you. and up next, a town forever changed. adding a friend... ♪ ...could end with adding a close friend. the lexus december to remember sales event is on. this is the pursuit of perfection. five days later, i had a massive heart attack. bayer aspirin was the first thing the emts gave me. now, i'm on a bayer aspirin regimen. [ male announcer ] be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. [ woman ] learn from my story.

finally tonight, a new normal in newtown. the library, the general store, the diner that fills with kids after high school basketball games. the hallmarks of a picture-perfect new england town, newtown, connecticut. donna moved here 15 years ago to

raise her three kids. >> this is a town where i didn't lock my doors, i didn't lock my car doors, my house was open. my kids ran back and forth to each other's houses. never felt unsafe. >> reporter: and it was safe. just one murder in the past decade. on friday, that changed. 20 school children gun down in their elementary school classrooms. four of their teachers, their school psychologist, and their principal, all gone. news of a shooting in this town was met with disbelief. >> all i could think is maybe it was a hunting accident because nothing like this would ever happen in newtown. >> john o'leary coaches youth basketball. one of the young victims played for his team. >> never expected it. shocked. >> that shock is still evident everywhere you look. 26 christmas trees line the curb across the street from the firehouse where some of the children fled the gunfire. this morning moving vans drove pass, down the road to sandy hook elementary, to start the process of resettling the students at a new